War Fatigue

Watching Band of Brothers on DVD is a real treat. The wonderful script carries the viewer through the brutality of WW2 episode by episode. I realised, watching it, what went wrong with me and VC. Something I accepted in the back of my mind but never acknowledged openly.

I was fighting alone for too long. No real support coming from anywhere. Vineyard proving to be not a little lost, in my opinion, about the work in Asia. Also when Vi left, I trudged on. Kept giving. Kept believing that help would arrive. But I knew I was getting near the end of the rope. I hung on as long as I could. Finally, all my strength was sapped. And now, the thought of the two years trying to establish something in Cyberjaya makes me nauseous. Even church, at times. ‘Oh well, there goes another shot-up believer. Don’t worry, he’ll manage.’

I still see the faces of the people I’ve come to know as friends in Cyberjaya. Often, I have flashbacks, and I wish things turned out differently.